OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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