But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
