i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
