Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This is the high leading the old right now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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