Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You did what with his pubic hair?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
