i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
