he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
