But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
