And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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