Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
