i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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