PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
