I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
