i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
