I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
