Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
