I'm going to jail i love you
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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