youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
