Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
