Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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