I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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