Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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