i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
