Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
