I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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