i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
