It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
