Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
