I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize