you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
