did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
