with your own penis?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
