I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
