im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
