im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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