Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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