Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
