Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
