from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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