Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
