apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
