I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
