theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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