You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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