I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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