if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
