pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
