Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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