we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
