Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
