I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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