New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
