your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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